So I'm feeling a little anxious right now. Okay... a lot anxious. Remember the emotions from that Disney movie Inside Out? Yeah, Fear has taken over. I have to work tomorrow, and for the first time EVER, we are leaving the kids with someone who is NOT a family member. My awesome neighbor Stephanie, who is a stay at home mom , agreed to help us out this summer so I don't have to cut my hours at work like I usually do. The kids really like her and I have total faith in her, but still, it's like...whoa. I know nothing is going to happen, but Fear has put all these horrible worst-case-scenario situations in my head and I can't get them out.
He has me convinced that something will go wrong. What if Johnny has a meltdown? What if for some reason he goes a little cuckoo birds and loses his shit? What if Jordan gives her miss thing attitude and refuses to be compliant, and starts screaming and yelling? What if one of them gets hurt? Johnny's been known to have Superman strength when he gets angry, what if he throws something and it hits her baby?
What if... what if... what if...
But then Joy reminds me that in reality, the kids only want to please whomever they are with and are genuinely happy. Johnny spends 99% of his day playing between the living room and his bedroom with pretty much everything he can find, and Jordan spends her day either coloring, listening to her cd player or playing with her PowerPuff Girls. She also loves to be a helper, and will help Stephanie with anything she needs! They are self sufficient, and we are very blessed that there are no other issues going on, especially with toileting! Really, she's just coming to hang out with two really cool kids and I definitely need to chill out.
Sadness will sometimes pop in to remind me that I'm not going to be home with them as much this summer, and I'm probably going to miss out on some really nice, fun days. She also reminds me that no matter how much I wish it, family isn't always going to be available for babysitting. But then Joy comes back and says that's okay, our family still loves us! It's also okay to make new friends and for the kids to be able to trust them and build a rapport with them.
All in all, tomorrow is going to be a very hard, anxiety ridden day for me. But it's going to be okay. The kids will have fun with Stephanie, Jordan will help out, and Johnny will be his regular, entertaining self. They will be fine, and I will be fine.
Just gotta remember to breathe....
Peace and Love,
PS: No, I don't own any of these images. They're Disney Pixar's. If I did,I'd be insanely rich on an island somewhere and not sitting on my couch in my pj's! 😂